When I first found out I was pregnant for the second time I was scared because just seven months earlier I had a miscarriage. A few months later I was full of joy because I had made it past the miscarry point from the first pregnancy. When I had my first ultrasound my husband and I cried to find out we were having a girl. A little girl he never knew he could have, boys run on his side of the family.
I got pregnant the month my husband’s mother passed away from cancer. A few days after we found out about her gender we received bad news. They found a cyst on her head and a heart defect. I had to go to another hospital to have an amnio done. I was hurt and hoping for a false positive for my daughter. I was wrong, I was told she was positive for Edwards syndrome (T18). I didn’t know what to think or what to do. I tried to treat my pregnancy like it was a normal one. I bought her things and sung to her. Linda was born October 11 2012 4Ibs 7ounce. I made the choice to have her via c-section, I was told she may not make it through natural birth. When I was on the table waiting to see her for the first time I felt like my heart stopped. I was nervous and excited at the same time. When they held her up I was filled with joy. My first born was here. There was a moment of silence then I heard her whimper. My husband was in tears and I had a huge smile. I just wanted to hold her. I had to tell him not to worry about me and to hold his daughter.
When I was on the table waiting to see her for the first time I felt like my heart stopped. I was nervous and excited at the same time. When they held her up I was filled with joy. My first born was here! There was a moment of silence and then I heard her whimper. My husband was in tears and I had a huge smile. I just wanted to hold her. I had to tell him not to worry about me and to hold his daughter.
When we got to the recovery room I was able to hold her most of the time. One of the times she started turning blue. I felt like my heart stopped once again but she came back, she wasn’t ready to leave, all our family didn’t get to see her yet. When it came to a diaper change I was excited to change her, I knew I wouldn’t have another chance. We took as many pictures as we could. At the end of the day when everyone went home my husband and I had time alone with her. It actually came to that time I had to tell her it was ok to go with her grandmother home where she couldn’t hurt anymore. The next morning at 2 something in the morning we were told she was gone. Her grandmother had taken her. This Oct. (2016) she would be four years old. She will never be forgotten and us as her parents still cry till this day. It has got better but is still hard to live without our daughter.