Our pregnancy was a thunderstorm from the beginning. At only a week and a half pregnant I was nauseous and throwing up nonstop. We spent a few weeks thinking I had the flu, and then we got a positive pregnancy test. From there it seemed I had every symptom – every smell bothered me, my emotions went haywire, I was sick constantly. I loved it. I felt *so* pregnant, it was reassuring.
We were sent for a dating ultrasound, and told we were about 5 weeks along but there was no embryo visible yet. We were referred back a week and a half later – 7 weeks and still no embryo visible. We were told the pregnancy was anembryonic; my body was pregnant however no embryo had ever developed. We were devastated, and sent for one final ultrasound to confirm their findings. At 9 weeks 1 day I went in to the clinic with a heavy heart, and was stunned when the tech told me there was a baby with a healthy heartbeat. I was a week behind what they originally thought, and we adjusted it to 8 weeks rather than 9.
Only 1 month later I passed several small clots and was sent for an emergency ultrasound. At 12 weeks I thought I was out of the danger zone, and was terrified. After a quick ultrasound it was determined our baby was fine, and it was just cervical bleeding brought on by coughing.
2 months later we were sent for our 20 week anatomy scan. We found out we were having a baby girl, and we immediately named her Georgia Lee. Unfortunately there were some abnormalities notices at our scan. Our girl had bilateral choroid plexus cysts, which are small cysts on her brain. She was moving during the ultrasound making it difficult to clearly see her heart as well, so we were referred for a second scan.
After an agonizing month we went for our second scan – Georgia’s heart was fine and her cysts had cleared up! We were thrilled. She was measuring a bit small so we were sent for a follow up, but we were unconcerned. The specialists saw no trace of Trisomy 18, our baby was healthy.
For 2 months I went for biweekly ultrasounds and Non Stress Tests. Georgia was still measuring small, and her stomach was measuring in the bottom 1 percentile now. We were told she may need surgery after birth. We were scared, but our girl was a fighter. We knew she would be okay.
I went in for yet another ultrasound, only this time the tech noticed problems with Georgia’s heart. The blood did not seem to be flowing in the right direction. There was also extra fluid surrounding Georgia’s cerebellum. An appointment was booked with a perinatal cardiologist, and I was sent for an amniocentesis. Unfortunately, we did not end up seeing the cardiologist. The results from the amnio were devastating. Our precious Georgia Lee had trisomy 18. From there, it was a whirlwind.
After meeting with a genetic counsellor later that day and hearing our options, we opted for an early induction. We chose not to stop Georgia’s heart, and have her with us for as long as she was able.
At 1:10 pm on February 1, our Georgia Lee was born sleeping. She weighed 2lbs 15oz and was absolutely perfect. We spent the evening with our girl, telling her stories and holding her up to the window so she could feel the sun. It had been storming all day, but our Georgia brought the sun with her.
Eventually we knew we had to say our goodbyes to her. Your heart is never ready to say goodbye to your baby, to kiss their nose and know it will be the last time. I traced every inch of her with my fingertips, memorizing every detail. When Georgia left us, a piece of our heart and soul went with her. We will always feel the emptiness of her loss. But our hearts are healing, and every time the sun comes out it feels like Georgia is with us again for a moment.