Jasmine Angel Justice


Parents: Denise and Travis Justice
Hometown: South Jordan, Utah
Diagnosed at 17 weeks, carried to term, lived 4 days

Jasmine Angel’s Story

We found out our daughter Jasmine Angel had Trisomy 18 around 17 weeks along.  We did the quad test and when the doc called to say the results that she MAY have something called Trisomy 18 my heart sank.  She called me at 630 in the evening and when you get a call that late about results, not good.  I looked it up online…OMG.  Further testing was needed to confirm so first we did the level 2 US and NO markers, that gave us hope!  The chances of Jasmine having T18 were 1:22 is what they told us.  Such a small chance we thought but we did the Amnio to be sure.  We opted out of the FISH test and waited the 10 days. I believe the genetic counselor called me at day 9 and told me the results.  Jasmine was positive for T18.  I choked out a few questions like what now?  What can I expect if we don’t terminate or if we do?  Having this conversation was so unreal, tragic.  How could this be happening?  I cried out loud in pain after I got off the phone with her.  My daughter who was about to turn 2 just sat with me and stared at me “mommy?” I eventually called my husband at work. Our journey began.  We were given a name of an organization that offers support to parents in our situation with counseling and contacts.  I hesitated to call them, didn’t know what to expect.  I wanted to climb into a hole.  I called & set a time to talk.  It was the best thing we could have done.  We needed support and information and took in as much as we could and it helped us come to terms that this was real and we were not alone and we saw goodness in people.  News that your unborn child will not survive almost cripples you.  God bless anyone who shows kindness. My husband and I aren’t super religious, he probably less than me but from the start he wanted to let nature take its course.  I was so torn between terminating or not.  I loved my Jasmine the moment the test showed 2 pink lines.  After I found out she would not live very long I tried to distance my heart from her.   It seemed like a logical thing to do so losing her wouldn’t hurt so bad.  We discussed every possible reason to terminate and every reason not to.  I decided to move forward with termination.  It was required to sign a consent form to terminate in my state.  I cried all the way there & all the way back home.  The next day I called them to say I’m keeping my baby.  A weight was lifted. Every day we wondered if it was the last.  Every day I loved her more and more & grateful for every kick I felt & cherished every single US.  Kept every single one & put in a scrapbook.  We made every little thing we did while she was alive within me special by taking pictures at zoo, carnivals, hikes, with her big sis kissing my belly etc.  I took those pictures & decided I should make a special slide show with music. Did this for months, gathered pictures, looked for the perfect music because she deserved the best memories.  This slide show would be played at her funeral service.

Planning a service for your unborn child….heart wrenching.  It was incredibly hard to verbalize my Jasmine was going to die to different mortuaries but I did it because she deserved nothing but the best.  I found the perfect place.  My husband & I picked out the perfect urn.  We decided to keep her ashes because what if we moved out of state? We planned a c-sec.  39 weeks.  On the morning of Oct 9 2014 Jasmine was born.  She had the tiniest cry, she was so beautiful, and she was so strong.  She was so amazing.  We had at least 25 people in the waiting room that got to meet her.  My deacon was there to baptize her as she laid on my chest and as everyone watched.  There was so much love in that room.  My Jasmine didn’t eat for a couple days and we got worried since we chose comfort care.  Time was short.  Amazingly she began to suck on her bottle to eat!  Wow.  We were able to take her home on a Saturday afternoon.  It was such a great feeling to take my baby home. Since we chose comfort care, hospice came to our house to give info & medicine if needed. The 1st night she slept on my chest; I was in heaven waking up to her the next day and our house full of family all day too.   2nd night Jasmine cried & cried for 1 ½ hrs.  We tried everything to make her comfortable, she seemed miserable.

We were advised by hospice to give her meds to help comfort her.  She calmed down & fell asleep on my chest.  I woke up the next morning to take my medicine.  I put her on the bed between us, kissed her & slept some more.  When we woke up a couple of hours later she was cold, just barely but she was gone. I held her for hours & hours before finally having to take her outside on a warm, bright, sunny day and place her inside the black SUV that would take her away to cremate her.  I would never hold her, wake up to her, change her diaper, play with her, bathe her, sing to her, see her with her big sis, and listen to her breath….ever again.  Her service was beautiful.  The music, the speakers who did prayers and a poem.  The slide show, the flowers, the weather, the support was amazing. Jasmine is a beautiful, precious miracle who came into our lives and made us extremely proud parents.  She was so strong.  She accomplished things she wasn’t supposed to.  She brought our families closer to us and to each other.  I thank God every day for her.  We miss our Jasmine more than anyone will ever know.  Jasmine, Mommy and Daddy LOVE YOU!



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